Microsoft Patents Telempathy Device

Seen in the Times:

Microsoft submitted a patent application in the US for a “unique monitoring system” that could link workers to their computers. Wireless sensors could read “heart rate, galvanic skin response, EMG, brain signals, respiration rate, body temperature, movement facial movements, facial expressions and blood pressure”, the application states.

The system could also “automatically detect frustration or stress in the user” and “offer and provide assistance accordingly”. Physical changes to an employee would be matched to an individual psychological profile based on a worker’s weight, age and health. If the system picked up an increase in heart rate or facial expressions suggestive of stress or frustration, it would tell management that he needed help.

Maybe it’s just a byproduct of having way too much “fun” this week, but the image of an office worker, hooked up to a biorhythm machine just popped into my head. The office worker gets frustrated, and Clippy, the Microsoft Office Paperclip appears before him.

Think Office Space meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre for the logical result of the scenario.